“When Am I Truly Myself?”

Thinking together: Mena Mark Hanna and Roni Mann led a conversation with members of the West-Eastern Divan, Mariam C. Said, and Daniel Barenboim to discuss Hegel's Master-Slave dialectic, the idea of exile in the work of Edward Said, and what this all means for performing musicians. Here below is a reflection by Hanna and Mann. “When Am I Truly Myself?” – this universal and existential question opened our series of encounters with the members of the West-Eastern Divan Orchestra, dedicated to philosophy and critical reflection. To start thinking together about deep issues of self and identity, we discussed Hegel’s dialectic of the Master and Slave, which suggested the following answer to our opening theme: I am truly myself when I am in the right kind of relationship with others, a relationship of mutual recognition. We spoke about form as well as content, philosophical terminology as well as the significance “for us.” How do we relate to others in our own personal and political existence? Do we overcome simple “othering” and power dynamics? We then turned to Edward Said’s Reflections on Exile. Said’s answer to the opening question is more ambivalent: I seek to be more truly myself by looking for the right relationship with “home.” Exiles are nationless and belong in a condition of multiple identities: a counterpoint of perspectives with one’s past home and one’s current condition. This search for belonging is shared by many members of the Divan Orchestra and Said’s ideas became the basis of a conversation that extended long beyond the classroom. We considered the link between the condition of exile and artistic creation, and discussed the idea of “losing oneself” in a perspective outside of oneself, as a way to a life richer in texture and meaning. As the discussion drew closer to the experience of performing musicians, Daniel Barenboim offered his insight on the special relevance of the dialectical practice to the relationship with a musical score. “I allow myself to have a first encounter with the score in which my reaction is shock and fear”, he said, describing the score as standing outside oneself like a menacing presence. Later one loses oneself in the score, listening to what it has to say, investigating its innermost connections and meanings. Only then can one bring it back to one’s own world of associations. The music then becomes fully one’s own. And then, he said, “it sounds like I am improvising.” – Mena Mark Hanna & Roni Mann, 19 August, 2014

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